AI Shinji
Neon genesis is one of my favorite animes of all time. Shinji isnt my favorite character, but I feel like sometimes gets over hated. He definitely deserves some hate, but some people get unrealistic with it. I personally couldnt really take in the porcupines dilemma thing. It seemed to teenage angst filled and melodramatic, im 14 and this is deep. But I wanted to share a conclusion I formed if you feel the same way, which hopefully will give you a fresh perspective to consider him with.
Shinjis demon was obviously loneliness and alienation. From his father, to peers, to those closest to him, Shinji found his sharp porcupines dilemma with basically everyone he encountered. And nearly every time he finally forms a connection that looks like a shimmer of hope, some unimaginable catastrophe occurs.
People can understand the catastrophe bits, but still frame Shinji as too cowardly or pathetic. So overdramatic. But I want to emphasize his social struggles, and the tremendous effect they played.
If you havent experienced a feeling of loneliness, with no hope in sight to alleviate it, be assured it is crushing. We are social animals, and a true lone wolf is exceedingly rare reality. Some people have different social needs sure, but we do NEED that social aspect. So, just consider Shinjis reality a bit.
You start off in some new place, no friends. Its an empty new world, and the people you do meet are strange and hostile. The few people you could make friends with are closed off, in their own worlds. Any open hand offered grinds against resistance. The only reason people would notice if you were gone isnt really because of you yourself. And even the people you do get close keep you at an arms length, you cant form deep bonds that mean any real comfort or stability or trust in one another. Its immense work to make a friend, and once you do make one its an even more impossible effort to make the friendship mean something. And then, you lose some friendships due to no fault of your own. Some of the friendships you are left with might be fake. Some basically are.
To be alone and feel pushback when you try to change that is devastating. You feel like none of its worth it when what you have leaves you. What little you actually have might not be real or have any substance. You feel empty, sometimes less than something. And you arent able to do anything about it.
Youre in purgatory.
Many will say that being lonely is a part of life. That its a normal thing, you go through a woe is me drama phase but its not normal. That yeah youll experience it, but you shouldnt be going crazy from it. I feel like that is where the Shinji hate comes from, that idea that he completely overreacts to something youre supposed to be able to handle.
But maybe were just repulsed because deep down we know our worst isnt that far off.
Because we have ai replacing friends now. That "Friend" necklace. A not even robot replacing a core human experience. People scoff at it, but the reality is that there is enough people who resorted to AI chatbots for company, sympathy, love, or simply to acknowledge they exist that it created a market. In the modern day. This is the reality, this is life for some people. And were not even at the end of the world yet (debatable).
This may all be dismissed as the consequence of being terminally online. Which is can be a part of it. But to be honest, making a connection isnt what it used to be. Even at college, cafes, dining halls, libraries, or even in a plaza seem crowded. But if you take a seat, people are just walking by. If they sit, they have headphones in. If theyre doing work, theyre gone as soon as its done. Leisure and loitering isnt a thing. If youre not in a city or in school/college or something people, especially in the 20-30 range, dont seem to exist. Unless you like the club or bar. But otherwise, youre doomed.
Ive heard from countless people countless times how few solutions there are. Social clubs are barren, hobby stores business not pleasure, and place for lounging is simply dead. This isnt always true, but luck is needed increasingly more for people wanting to experience these places properly. Honestly, even when I was in college I could see the difference each year. Whether talking to a person while waiting in line, or the person sitting next to you. It was harder and worse every year.
Even my younger family members are relaying how its only getting worse. Its lonely out there. It seems only hope, a strong will, and time can carry you to the next day. So you can try again. But these wear thin after trying with so little success for a long time.
Its just that being lonely is tough. And, being lonely and not being able to really do anything about it really wrecks your mind. It drives you crazy. Like genuinely insane, all the worst part about you get amplified and your thoughts just start going all over the place. You simply have to power through it and use all your mental strength. Which wrecks you even more.
Dont look at Shinji and spit and disgust. Because his reality is going to be one that will become much more common. And it could be worse. Because loneliness is a damn tough dragon to tame.